This is how Ayesha Siddiqui got married to Shoaib Malik on phone.
Ayesha - "Hello Shoaib, Afghanistan ka capital kya hai ?
Shoaib - "Kabul" hai
Ayesha - sunai nahi de raha hai
Shoaib - "Kabul" hai
Ayesha - arre baba phir se bolo.
Shoaib - "Kabul" hai "Kabul" hai "Kabul" hai
And they both got married according to Islamic laws.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
4 sardar
4 sardaro ne mil ke petrol pump khola..
1 bhi customer nahi aaya ..
Kyun..?
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
petrol pump was on 1st floor..
Chal ek aur
Fir charo ne usi floor pe restuarent khola.
1 bhi customer nahi..
Kyu..?
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
petrol pump ka board nahi hataya..
Chal ek aur
Fir charo ne 1 taxi li.
1 bhi sawari nahi.
Kyu..?
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
2 sardar aage and 2 piche baith ke sawari dhund rahe the..
Chal ek aur
Taxi
kharab ho gayi.
Charo ne khub dhakka lagaya.
but taxi wahi ki wahi.
Kyu..?
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
2 aage se and 2 piche se dhakka de rahe the..
Chal ek aur
Fir charo ne 1 bachhe ko
kidnap kiya.
Bachhe ko kaha ghar ja apne baap se 5 lac rs le ke aa.
warna tujhe maar denge.
Bachha ghar gaya aur uske papa ne paise de bhi diye.
Kyu..?
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
bachhe ka baap bhi sardar tha..
1 bhi customer nahi aaya ..
Kyun..?
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
petrol pump was on 1st floor..
Chal ek aur
Fir charo ne usi floor pe restuarent khola.
1 bhi customer nahi..
Kyu..?
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
petrol pump ka board nahi hataya..
Chal ek aur
Fir charo ne 1 taxi li.
1 bhi sawari nahi.
Kyu..?
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
2 sardar aage and 2 piche baith ke sawari dhund rahe the..
Chal ek aur
Taxi
kharab ho gayi.
Charo ne khub dhakka lagaya.
but taxi wahi ki wahi.
Kyu..?
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
2 aage se and 2 piche se dhakka de rahe the..
Chal ek aur
Fir charo ne 1 bachhe ko
kidnap kiya.
Bachhe ko kaha ghar ja apne baap se 5 lac rs le ke aa.
warna tujhe maar denge.
Bachha ghar gaya aur uske papa ne paise de bhi diye.
Kyu..?
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
#
bachhe ka baap bhi sardar tha..
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
2 types of people
"There are two kinds of people; those who really love cats, and those who have never owned cats."
Unknown
Enjoy the rest of the quotes.
"There are two kinds of people: those who think they can, and those who think they can't, and they're both right."
Henry Ford
"There are two kinds of people, those that listen and those that wait to talk."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more."
Woody Allen
"There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: Those who are afraid to try themselves, and those who are afraid that you will succeed."
Ray Goforth
"There are two types of people - those who come into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and those who come in and say, "Ah, there you are.""
Frederick L. Collins
"Technology is ruled by two types of people: those who manage what they do not understand, and those who understand what they do not manage."
Mike Trout
There are two types of people in this world: lazy people and stupid people. Stupid people are too dumb to be lazy. Lazy people find creative ways to be lazy, therefore improving brain power.
Unknown
"There are two types of people one that blames someone else for everything that ever happened to them, good or bad; one blames themselves for everything!"
Unknown
"There are two types of people in the world, those who wish they'd lived in the past, and those who wish they could live in the future."
Unknown
"There are only two kinds of people in the world - there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in this world: those who leave a mark, and others who just leave a stain."
Unknown
"There are two types of people; one kind who want the violence to stop and those watch until the violence has stopped."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in the world, those that see the beauty of creation and those that see the ugliness of humanity."
demyngeiv
"There are two types of people - the ones who love to win and the ones who hate to lose."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in this world: those who believe in themselves and those who don't."
Unknown
"There are two types of people ... the scrutinizers and the scrutinized"
John Gregory Dunne
"The world is divided up into two kinds of people -- those who look at their body waste in the toilet bowl, and those who don't."
John Gregory Dunne
"There are two types of people in this world, those who like Elvis and those who like the Beatles."
Quentin Tarantino
"There are two types of people in this world: those who have the ability to assemble Ikea furniture and those who do not."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in this world...idiots who think they're smart, and idiots who don't."
Unknown
"There are two types of people: Those who save data and those who will."
Unknown
(My Master's Favourite since the "The Great Crash of 2002" made him a "Data Saver".)
"There are two kinds of people in the world -- those who understand the second law of thermodynamics, and those who don't".
Unknown
"There are two types of people, people who help individuals up and those who hold people down."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in the world; those who readily embrace new technologies and those who are intimidated by them."
Unknown
"There are two types of people, those who divide people into two types and those who don't."
Murphy's Law - Barth's Distinction.
"There are two types of people in the world; those who learn from their mistakes, and those who learn from the mistakes of others."
Unknown
"There are two types of people, those that give us pleasure when they arrive and other that give you pleasure when they leave."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in our society the people who represent the brighter side of a picture and the people who represent the darker side."
Abdul Ghani Bhatt
"There are two types of people who make a prediction, there are those who don't know, and there are those who know they don't know."
Unknown
"There are two types of people who complain about paying their income tax: - Men and Women."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in this world: those who tell you what you want to hear, and those who tell you the truth."
Unknown
"There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there."
Indira Gandhi
"There are two kinds of people in the world, Red Dwarf Fans and complete and total Smegheads!!!"
Unknown
"There are two kinds of people : those who think there are two kinds of people and those who are smart enough to know better."
Tom Robbins
"There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who are good with words, and those who are... er..um... thingy"
Unknown
"There are two kinds of people in the world. People who masturbate. And people who lie about it."
Unknown
"There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on...."
Robert Byrne
"There are two kinds of people in this world: those who talk about having sex, and those who are having sex."
Unknown
"There are two kinds of people in the world: those who walk into a room and immediately turn the TV on, and those who immediately turn it off."
Unknown
There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way."
CS Lewis
"There are two kinds of people in this world: those who think everything is knowable and those who realize that most of it is unknowable."
Unknown
"There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who "get" dark humor and understand that it doesn't necessarily involve the originator or the appreciator in heartlessness, and those who don't and are offended."
Rostin
"There are two kinds of people in this world: those who think for themselves, and those who only know what they've been taught."
Sime~Gen
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who see the glass as half full and those who see it as half empty.
Unknown
"There are two kinds of people: those who repeat themselves, those who repeat themselves, those who repeat themselves, those who repeat themselves"
Unknown
There are two kinds of people who never amount to much: those who cannot do what they are told, and those who can do nothing else."
Cyrus Curtis
There are two kinds of people - those who are changing and those who are setting themselves up to be victims of change.
Unknown
There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore
Unknown
(Sign in Office)
"The way I see it there are two types of people. Those stupid enough to get ripped off by people selling ringtones and those sensible enough to set up ringtone selling services."
Dr Claire Weekes, UK
There are too kinds of people in this world, ...those who can spel, and those who can't.
Unknown
"There are two kinds of people: those who can stay focused, and hey, look, another vagina post."
Slartibartfast "There are two types of people in this world: those people who want to be left alone and stay out of other people's business and the second group who love nothing better than screwing with the first group."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in this world-the Internet literate and the Internet ignorant!"
Unknown
"There are two kinds of people who lose money: those who know nothing and those who know everything."
Kaufman
'There are two kinds of people in this world I can't stand. Those intolerant of other peoples cultures, and the Dutch.'
Unknown
(Not very P.C. but it's as "old as the hills" and has a cute "catch 22")
"There are two types of people: those who with a bad short term memory and ..."
Unknown
There are two types of people who eat truffles: those who think truffles are good because they are dear and those who know they are dear because they are good!
Truffle site
There are three types of people: those who can count, and those who can't.
Unknown
"There are two types of mints you never turn down in life: breath mints and compliments. Either way, someone is trying to tell you something."
Unknown
"There are two types of people. the quick and the hungry."
Unknown
"There are two types of people: those who do something and those who sit on the sidelines and criticize."
Unknown
"There are two types of people, those that set an example of how to live life and those that set an example of how to not to live life."
Unknown
"There are two types of people out there: those who think with their heads and those who think with their hearts."
Unknown
"There are two types of people -- those who put themselves first, and those who look out first for others."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in the world - Rhinos and Sheep. Rhinos take charge; Sheep follow."
Unknown
"There are two types of people: "Rise and Shiners" and "Rise and Whiners."
Susan Miller
"There are two types of people, people who try to be cryptic and people who try to be explicit."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in the world: women who are obsessed with shoes, and men."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in the world: people who will ask directions and men."
Unknown
"There are two kinds of people - the "haves" and the "have nots." Or to put it more simply - wives and husbands."
Unknown
(Possibily a husband?)
There are two kinds of people in the world:. Those who fear God and do not fear man. Those who fear man and do not fear God.
Unknown
Unknown
Enjoy the rest of the quotes.
"There are two kinds of people: those who think they can, and those who think they can't, and they're both right."
Henry Ford
"There are two kinds of people, those that listen and those that wait to talk."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more."
Woody Allen
"There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: Those who are afraid to try themselves, and those who are afraid that you will succeed."
Ray Goforth
"There are two types of people - those who come into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and those who come in and say, "Ah, there you are.""
Frederick L. Collins
"Technology is ruled by two types of people: those who manage what they do not understand, and those who understand what they do not manage."
Mike Trout
There are two types of people in this world: lazy people and stupid people. Stupid people are too dumb to be lazy. Lazy people find creative ways to be lazy, therefore improving brain power.
Unknown
"There are two types of people one that blames someone else for everything that ever happened to them, good or bad; one blames themselves for everything!"
Unknown
"There are two types of people in the world, those who wish they'd lived in the past, and those who wish they could live in the future."
Unknown
"There are only two kinds of people in the world - there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in this world: those who leave a mark, and others who just leave a stain."
Unknown
"There are two types of people; one kind who want the violence to stop and those watch until the violence has stopped."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in the world, those that see the beauty of creation and those that see the ugliness of humanity."
demyngeiv
"There are two types of people - the ones who love to win and the ones who hate to lose."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in this world: those who believe in themselves and those who don't."
Unknown
"There are two types of people ... the scrutinizers and the scrutinized"
John Gregory Dunne
"The world is divided up into two kinds of people -- those who look at their body waste in the toilet bowl, and those who don't."
John Gregory Dunne
"There are two types of people in this world, those who like Elvis and those who like the Beatles."
Quentin Tarantino
"There are two types of people in this world: those who have the ability to assemble Ikea furniture and those who do not."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in this world...idiots who think they're smart, and idiots who don't."
Unknown
"There are two types of people: Those who save data and those who will."
Unknown
(My Master's Favourite since the "The Great Crash of 2002" made him a "Data Saver".)
"There are two kinds of people in the world -- those who understand the second law of thermodynamics, and those who don't".
Unknown
"There are two types of people, people who help individuals up and those who hold people down."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in the world; those who readily embrace new technologies and those who are intimidated by them."
Unknown
"There are two types of people, those who divide people into two types and those who don't."
Murphy's Law - Barth's Distinction.
"There are two types of people in the world; those who learn from their mistakes, and those who learn from the mistakes of others."
Unknown
"There are two types of people, those that give us pleasure when they arrive and other that give you pleasure when they leave."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in our society the people who represent the brighter side of a picture and the people who represent the darker side."
Abdul Ghani Bhatt
"There are two types of people who make a prediction, there are those who don't know, and there are those who know they don't know."
Unknown
"There are two types of people who complain about paying their income tax: - Men and Women."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in this world: those who tell you what you want to hear, and those who tell you the truth."
Unknown
"There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there."
Indira Gandhi
"There are two kinds of people in the world, Red Dwarf Fans and complete and total Smegheads!!!"
Unknown
"There are two kinds of people : those who think there are two kinds of people and those who are smart enough to know better."
Tom Robbins
"There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who are good with words, and those who are... er..um... thingy"
Unknown
"There are two kinds of people in the world. People who masturbate. And people who lie about it."
Unknown
"There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on...."
Robert Byrne
"There are two kinds of people in this world: those who talk about having sex, and those who are having sex."
Unknown
"There are two kinds of people in the world: those who walk into a room and immediately turn the TV on, and those who immediately turn it off."
Unknown
There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way."
CS Lewis
"There are two kinds of people in this world: those who think everything is knowable and those who realize that most of it is unknowable."
Unknown
"There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who "get" dark humor and understand that it doesn't necessarily involve the originator or the appreciator in heartlessness, and those who don't and are offended."
Rostin
"There are two kinds of people in this world: those who think for themselves, and those who only know what they've been taught."
Sime~Gen
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who see the glass as half full and those who see it as half empty.
Unknown
"There are two kinds of people: those who repeat themselves, those who repeat themselves, those who repeat themselves, those who repeat themselves"
Unknown
There are two kinds of people who never amount to much: those who cannot do what they are told, and those who can do nothing else."
Cyrus Curtis
There are two kinds of people - those who are changing and those who are setting themselves up to be victims of change.
Unknown
There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore
Unknown
(Sign in Office)
"The way I see it there are two types of people. Those stupid enough to get ripped off by people selling ringtones and those sensible enough to set up ringtone selling services."
Dr Claire Weekes, UK
There are too kinds of people in this world, ...those who can spel, and those who can't.
Unknown
"There are two kinds of people: those who can stay focused, and hey, look, another vagina post."
Slartibartfast "There are two types of people in this world: those people who want to be left alone and stay out of other people's business and the second group who love nothing better than screwing with the first group."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in this world-the Internet literate and the Internet ignorant!"
Unknown
"There are two kinds of people who lose money: those who know nothing and those who know everything."
Kaufman
'There are two kinds of people in this world I can't stand. Those intolerant of other peoples cultures, and the Dutch.'
Unknown
(Not very P.C. but it's as "old as the hills" and has a cute "catch 22")
"There are two types of people: those who with a bad short term memory and ..."
Unknown
There are two types of people who eat truffles: those who think truffles are good because they are dear and those who know they are dear because they are good!
Truffle site
There are three types of people: those who can count, and those who can't.
Unknown
"There are two types of mints you never turn down in life: breath mints and compliments. Either way, someone is trying to tell you something."
Unknown
"There are two types of people. the quick and the hungry."
Unknown
"There are two types of people: those who do something and those who sit on the sidelines and criticize."
Unknown
"There are two types of people, those that set an example of how to live life and those that set an example of how to not to live life."
Unknown
"There are two types of people out there: those who think with their heads and those who think with their hearts."
Unknown
"There are two types of people -- those who put themselves first, and those who look out first for others."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in the world - Rhinos and Sheep. Rhinos take charge; Sheep follow."
Unknown
"There are two types of people: "Rise and Shiners" and "Rise and Whiners."
Susan Miller
"There are two types of people, people who try to be cryptic and people who try to be explicit."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in the world: women who are obsessed with shoes, and men."
Unknown
"There are two types of people in the world: people who will ask directions and men."
Unknown
"There are two kinds of people - the "haves" and the "have nots." Or to put it more simply - wives and husbands."
Unknown
(Possibily a husband?)
There are two kinds of people in the world:. Those who fear God and do not fear man. Those who fear man and do not fear God.
Unknown
CID pj's 2
-----------------------------------------
Mere grdan me dard aur gale me kharash h,
Wah wah..
.
Mere gardan me dard aur gale me kharash hai,
wah wah
.
.
.
.
Oh My God, Daya, yahape ek Laash hai!
-----------------------------------------
Paanch ka Ek Samosa,
Das ke Do.....
Wah Wah....
Paanch ka Ek Samosa,
Das ke Do....
.
.
.
.
.
Daya jaa ke Darwaaza Tod Do...
-----------------------------------------
tere dil me meri sason ko panah mill jaye,
tere... dil me meri sason ko panah mill jaye..
DAYA jaldi karo ise pehle ki ek or koon ho jaye....
-----------------------------------------
Waah Waah....
Ye Kaali Kaali Aankhen, Ye Gore Gore Gaal....
.
.
.
.
Daya ja ke karo , Suspect se kuch Sawaal...
-----------------------------------------
Ram ji the ayodhya aur krishna ji the Mathura ke Vaasi..
Wah Wah...
Ram ji they Ayodhya aur Krishna ji the Mathura ke Vaasi..
.
.
Daya turant laga do is Gunahgaar ko Phaasi.....
-----------------------------------------
Dopahar ka waqt hai, billi chat par soyi hai..
Waaah Waah....
Dopahar ka waqt hai, billi chat par syi hai....
.
.
.
Daya Pata Lagao, khuni Inme se Koi Hai....
---------------------------------------
Mere grdan me dard aur gale me kharash h,
Wah wah..
.
Mere gardan me dard aur gale me kharash hai,
wah wah
.
.
.
.
Oh My God, Daya, yahape ek Laash hai!
-----------------------------------------
Paanch ka Ek Samosa,
Das ke Do.....
Wah Wah....
Paanch ka Ek Samosa,
Das ke Do....
.
.
.
.
.
Daya jaa ke Darwaaza Tod Do...
-----------------------------------------
tere dil me meri sason ko panah mill jaye,
tere... dil me meri sason ko panah mill jaye..
DAYA jaldi karo ise pehle ki ek or koon ho jaye....
-----------------------------------------
Waah Waah....
Ye Kaali Kaali Aankhen, Ye Gore Gore Gaal....
.
.
.
.
Daya ja ke karo , Suspect se kuch Sawaal...
-----------------------------------------
Ram ji the ayodhya aur krishna ji the Mathura ke Vaasi..
Wah Wah...
Ram ji they Ayodhya aur Krishna ji the Mathura ke Vaasi..
.
.
Daya turant laga do is Gunahgaar ko Phaasi.....
-----------------------------------------
Dopahar ka waqt hai, billi chat par soyi hai..
Waaah Waah....
Dopahar ka waqt hai, billi chat par syi hai....
.
.
.
Daya Pata Lagao, khuni Inme se Koi Hai....
---------------------------------------
bhindi 10 Rs. kilo bik rahi hai....arz kiya hai bhindi 10 Rs. kilo bik rahi hai........
abhijit ye baat utni seedhi nahi jitni dikh rahi hai
abhijit ye baat utni seedhi nahi jitni dikh rahi hai
CID pj's 1
Uss pari ko zameen par kisne bulaya......... .Waah.......Us pari ko zameen par kisne bulaya......... .ACP:Daya pata karo
--------------------------------------------
Teri hasi par saari Jawaani Luta Doonga....
--------------------------------------------
Teri hasi par saari Jawaani Luta Doonga....
Wah Wah...
Teri hasi par, saari jawaani Luta Doonga.....
.
.
Daya, wahi ruk jao.. Warna mai Goli Chalaa Doonga .
--------------------------------------------
Na Bandook se maaro, na Bomb se Maaro....
Waah... Waah...
Na Bandook Se Maaro , Na Bomb Se Maaro....
.
.
.
.
.
Daya, is ghar ka Chappa Chappa Chaan Maro....
--------------------------------------------
Garmiyon ke mausam mein khoob khelo ,
Garmiyon ke mausam mein khoob khelo ,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Daya in sab k fingerprints le lo !
--------------------------------------------
Baarish mai chaata na ho toh tu bhig jayega....
Wah Wah....
Baarish mai chaata na ho toh tu bhig jayega.....
.
.
.
.
Acp pradyuman bola is kamre se koi bahar nahi jayega...
Acp pradyuman bola is kamre se koi bahar nahi jayega...
--------------------------------------------
gaye ko angrezi mai kehete hai cow .....
wah wah....
gaye ko angrezi mai kehete hai cow .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
kuch to baat hai daya pata lagao
wah wah....
gaye ko angrezi mai kehete hai cow .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
kuch to baat hai daya pata lagao
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Jokes on nations
सेक्स करते वक्त निकलते अलग अलग आवाज
ईग्लेन्ड- ओ यस् ओ यस्
अमेरिका- यस् बेबि, यस् बेबि
भारत- ओ मा, दुख रहा है
पाकिस्तान- आहिस्ता भाइजान अम्मी जाग जायेगी ।
ईग्लेन्ड- ओ यस् ओ यस्
अमेरिका- यस् बेबि, यस् बेबि
भारत- ओ मा, दुख रहा है
पाकिस्तान- आहिस्ता भाइजान अम्मी जाग जायेगी ।
Comical shyari 2
hamara unke saath chhahaton ka silsila kuuch is tarha badhta chala gaya.......
hamara unke saath chhahaton ka silsila kuuch is tarah badhta chala gaya........
jis tarah ki unka doosron k saath break-ups ka silsila badhta chala gaya.......................
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
hum unke na ho saake woh bhi hamari na ho saki........
hum unke na ho sake woh bhi haamari na ho saki...............
truely d fact is k hum dono hi ek doosre k na ho sake............HUURRAH!!!!!!!!!!
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
unki muskurahat ko dekhkar humne jatayi thodi si ashanka............
unki muskurahat ko dekhkar humne jatayi thodi si ashanka ..............
phir humne socha hatayo yaar chalo khelein poshampa bai poshampa....
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
unhe hamare upar itna pyaar aaya ki unhone humein apne sar par baitha liya......
bas phir kya tha humne bhi thoda pyaar dikhaya aur unhe paani se nehla diya.
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
hum bhi thein josh mein.....woh bhi thein josh mein ....aur woh bhi thein josh mein.................
hum bhi thein josh mein....woh bhi thein josh mein....aur woh bhi thein josh mein....
bas josh mein teen hi hero thein
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
jab unhone humein call kiya tha to humne phone utha liya tha.............
jab unhone humein call kiya tha tab humne phone utha liya tha..
par jab humne unhe call kiya to unhone phone nai uthaya kyunki unka
phone kahin par gira hua hi nai tha...
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
mohabbat ka paigaam humne jitni baar unhe bheja humein niraasha hi haath lagi...................
ek baar galti se galt address likhkar bheja....ek baar galti se galt address likhkar bheja.............
to ek nai aasha haath lagi..
hamara unke saath chhahaton ka silsila kuuch is tarah badhta chala gaya........
jis tarah ki unka doosron k saath break-ups ka silsila badhta chala gaya.......................
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
hum unke na ho saake woh bhi hamari na ho saki........
hum unke na ho sake woh bhi haamari na ho saki...............
truely d fact is k hum dono hi ek doosre k na ho sake............HUURRAH!!!!!!!!!!
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
unki muskurahat ko dekhkar humne jatayi thodi si ashanka............
unki muskurahat ko dekhkar humne jatayi thodi si ashanka ..............
phir humne socha hatayo yaar chalo khelein poshampa bai poshampa....
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
unhe hamare upar itna pyaar aaya ki unhone humein apne sar par baitha liya......
bas phir kya tha humne bhi thoda pyaar dikhaya aur unhe paani se nehla diya.
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
hum bhi thein josh mein.....woh bhi thein josh mein ....aur woh bhi thein josh mein.................
hum bhi thein josh mein....woh bhi thein josh mein....aur woh bhi thein josh mein....
bas josh mein teen hi hero thein
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
jab unhone humein call kiya tha to humne phone utha liya tha.............
jab unhone humein call kiya tha tab humne phone utha liya tha..
par jab humne unhe call kiya to unhone phone nai uthaya kyunki unka
phone kahin par gira hua hi nai tha...
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
mohabbat ka paigaam humne jitni baar unhe bheja humein niraasha hi haath lagi...................
ek baar galti se galt address likhkar bheja....ek baar galti se galt address likhkar bheja.............
to ek nai aasha haath lagi..
Gareeb chutkule (some more)
Why dere are 7 days in a week?
very very very simple cuz dere are 7 nights.....ha ha ha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
mind u ha ha ha is written according to newton's fourth law of uniform position..................
Name a college where boy's don't study at all?????
Women's college.....
Have u people heard about scuba diving.............
Now tell me why the hell those divers dive in the way
they generally do...I mean why do they jump while taking a somersault????????
Because if they jump straight they will fall at no other place but in the boat itself.............
Name a place which is constructed by men but men are never allowed to
go at dat place??????/
Girl's toilet
Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha?
Ans:- adidas
Kya apke toothpaste mai namak hai?
Agar haa to
thoda haldi,
mirchi,
immli,
aur narial
dalkar chatni kyu nhi bana lete..
what an idea sir ji..
What will! u call a person who is leaving India ??
Socho....... ........
Ans:- Hindustan Lever (Leaver).
Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of
pepsi
but goes directly to Tendulkar.? why ?? why ?? :-)
Ans:- Tendulkar is an opener
Ek Ladki Raat Mein Akeli Aur 2 Ladke Uske Saath KYA HUA HOGA
?
?
!
.
!
.
?
?
Jaan-ne Ke Liye Dekhiye C I D Friday Raat 10 Baje..
RAM SITA HAI ... TO RAM KAUN HAI ??
Ans - . TAILOR ( darzi )
------
Gandhi ji ahinsa ko kyu mante the?
?
?
?
?
?
Kyuki wo jante the ki ek thappad me wo ludak jayenge.Khali-pili panga lene se kya fayda.
banta ka opposite hai IODEX.. kyunki banta sardar hai............ iodex ASARDAR hai
------
watz d opposite of DOMINOES????
THINK THINK
THINK THINK THINK
SIMPLE!!!
DOMI DOESN'T KNOW!!!
Killer PJ of the day:
mallika sherawat ka gaana chal raha tha "beeghey hoonth tere"................
cockroach bhi dekh raha tha...
thodi der baad woh mar gaya kyun??????????
kyunki gana hit tha
There were 2 friends JO & WO .. 1 day JO got scared seeing d snake ..
Suddenly WO died . Why did WO died ???? bcos .....................................
JO dargaya Wo margaya :P :D
abe koi ise chup karao yaar
bahut bada wala lag raha hai ye
very very very simple cuz dere are 7 nights.....ha ha ha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
mind u ha ha ha is written according to newton's fourth law of uniform position..................
Name a college where boy's don't study at all?????
Women's college.....
Have u people heard about scuba diving.............
Now tell me why the hell those divers dive in the way
they generally do...I mean why do they jump while taking a somersault????????
Because if they jump straight they will fall at no other place but in the boat itself.............
Name a place which is constructed by men but men are never allowed to
go at dat place??????/
Girl's toilet
Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha?
Ans:- adidas
Kya apke toothpaste mai namak hai?
Agar haa to
thoda haldi,
mirchi,
immli,
aur narial
dalkar chatni kyu nhi bana lete..
what an idea sir ji..
What will! u call a person who is leaving India ??
Socho....... ........
Ans:- Hindustan Lever (Leaver).
Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of
pepsi
but goes directly to Tendulkar.? why ?? why ?? :-)
Ans:- Tendulkar is an opener
Ek Ladki Raat Mein Akeli Aur 2 Ladke Uske Saath KYA HUA HOGA
?
?
!
.
!
.
?
?
Jaan-ne Ke Liye Dekhiye C I D Friday Raat 10 Baje..
RAM SITA HAI ... TO RAM KAUN HAI ??
Ans - . TAILOR ( darzi )
------
Gandhi ji ahinsa ko kyu mante the?
?
?
?
?
?
Kyuki wo jante the ki ek thappad me wo ludak jayenge.Khali-pili panga lene se kya fayda.
banta ka opposite hai IODEX.. kyunki banta sardar hai............ iodex ASARDAR hai
------
watz d opposite of DOMINOES????
THINK THINK
THINK THINK THINK
SIMPLE!!!
DOMI DOESN'T KNOW!!!
Killer PJ of the day:
mallika sherawat ka gaana chal raha tha "beeghey hoonth tere"................
cockroach bhi dekh raha tha...
thodi der baad woh mar gaya kyun??????????
kyunki gana hit tha
There were 2 friends JO & WO .. 1 day JO got scared seeing d snake ..
Suddenly WO died . Why did WO died ???? bcos .....................................
JO dargaya Wo margaya :P :D
abe koi ise chup karao yaar
bahut bada wala lag raha hai ye
Comical shayari ( Door se dekha to)
door se dekha to sher khada hua tha,.....
door se dekha to sher khada hua tha........
isiliye aage gaya hi nahin
------------------------------------
------------------------------------
door se dekha to nikkar(hanging) tanga hua tha.....
door se dekha to nikkar tanga hua tha.............
.paas jaake dekha to bachpan ki jeans thi
------------------------------------
------------------------------------
door se dekha to baarish ho rahi thi........
door se dekha to baarish ho rahi thi........
pass gaya to bheeg gaya
------------------------------------
------------------------------------
door se dekha to table par books padi hui thi...
door se dekha to table par books padi hui thi..........
.to yaar paas jaane ka to sawaal hi nai paida hota
------------------------------------
------------------------------------
door se dekha to bahut kohra(fog) ho rha tha...........
jaise hi pass gaye to dikhna hi band ho gaya
------------------------------------
------------------------------------
door se dekha to ande(eggs) ubal (boiling) rahe thein...............
door se dekha to ande ucchal rahe thein...
pass jaake dekha to nange ucchal rahe thein
------------------------------------
------------------------------------
door se dekha to sher khada hua tha........
isiliye aage gaya hi nahin
------------------------------------
------------------------------------
door se dekha to nikkar(hanging) tanga hua tha.....
door se dekha to nikkar tanga hua tha.............
.paas jaake dekha to bachpan ki jeans thi
------------------------------------
------------------------------------
door se dekha to baarish ho rahi thi........
door se dekha to baarish ho rahi thi........
pass gaya to bheeg gaya
------------------------------------
------------------------------------
door se dekha to table par books padi hui thi...
door se dekha to table par books padi hui thi..........
.to yaar paas jaane ka to sawaal hi nai paida hota
------------------------------------
------------------------------------
door se dekha to bahut kohra(fog) ho rha tha...........
jaise hi pass gaye to dikhna hi band ho gaya
------------------------------------
------------------------------------
door se dekha to ande(eggs) ubal (boiling) rahe thein...............
door se dekha to ande ucchal rahe thein...
pass jaake dekha to nange ucchal rahe thein
------------------------------------
------------------------------------
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
How to call police?
WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.
George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian , Mississippi , was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."
George said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George , "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
Don't mess with old people.
George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian , Mississippi , was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."
George said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George , "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
Don't mess with old people.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Man n police
Ek police wala car wale nu rok ke - "Eh sada suraksha week hai, isliye tuhanu belt pa ke gaddi chalaun layi Rs. 5000/- da inaam dita janda hai. Tusi ehna paiseyan da ki karoge?"
Man - "Sab to pehlan mein apna driving licence banawanga."
Woman on the back seat - "Ehdi gal te yakeeen na karo, eh sharaab pee ke eddan hi bolda hai."
Man's Child police dekh ke - "Papa mainu pata c, chori di car ch asin jyada door nahin ja sakde."
Pichche se dikki mein se awaaj aayi - "Hello bhai border paar ho gaya."
Man - "Sab to pehlan mein apna driving licence banawanga."
Woman on the back seat - "Ehdi gal te yakeeen na karo, eh sharaab pee ke eddan hi bolda hai."
Man's Child police dekh ke - "Papa mainu pata c, chori di car ch asin jyada door nahin ja sakde."
Pichche se dikki mein se awaaj aayi - "Hello bhai border paar ho gaya."
3 Women.
Three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk, and
wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the
morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric
chair, and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I am from Grace
University, and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the
behalf of the innocent," They throw the switch and nothing happens. They
all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and
release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her
last words," I am from the Creighton School of Law and I believe in the
power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw
the switch and again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately
prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.
The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well,
I'm from the University of Alabama and just graduated with a degree in
Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell you right now, you ain't gonna
electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."
wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the
morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric
chair, and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I am from Grace
University, and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the
behalf of the innocent," They throw the switch and nothing happens. They
all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and
release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her
last words," I am from the Creighton School of Law and I believe in the
power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw
the switch and again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately
prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.
The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well,
I'm from the University of Alabama and just graduated with a degree in
Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell you right now, you ain't gonna
electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."
Wat Women say and what they really mean
I heard a noise - I noticed you were almost asleep
You Want - You Want
We Need - I Want
It's your decision - The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want - You'll pay for this later
We need to talk - I need to complain
Sure...go ahead - I don't want you to
You're certainly attentive tonight - Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! - I'm not having a period
This kitchen is so inconvenient - I want a new house...and curtains and carpeting, furniture...
Hang the picture there - No, I mean hang it there!
Do you love me? - I'm going to ask for something expensive
I'll be ready in a minute - Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
You have to learn to communicate - Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? - Too late, your a goner
I'm sorry - You'll be sorry.
No - Yes
Maybe - No
Do you like this recipe? - It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
I'm not yelling! - Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
You Want - You Want
We Need - I Want
It's your decision - The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want - You'll pay for this later
We need to talk - I need to complain
Sure...go ahead - I don't want you to
You're certainly attentive tonight - Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! - I'm not having a period
This kitchen is so inconvenient - I want a new house...and curtains and carpeting, furniture...
Hang the picture there - No, I mean hang it there!
Do you love me? - I'm going to ask for something expensive
I'll be ready in a minute - Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
You have to learn to communicate - Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? - Too late, your a goner
I'm sorry - You'll be sorry.
No - Yes
Maybe - No
Do you like this recipe? - It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
I'm not yelling! - Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
women and Men
At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy.
"No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret."
"I would dispute that," answered a woman guest. "I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one."
"You'll let it out some day," the man insisted.
"I hardly think so!" responded the lady. "When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever."
"No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret."
"I would dispute that," answered a woman guest. "I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one."
"You'll let it out some day," the man insisted.
"I hardly think so!" responded the lady. "When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever."
Men n women
Men:
1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one
Around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their
Luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off
If the women leaves them.
7. Although the women leaves them they still don't learn from their
Mistakes and still try their luck with others.
Women:
1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive
Clothes.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something
To wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress
Beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just
"An old rag".
6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still
Expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't
Believe you
1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one
Around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their
Luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off
If the women leaves them.
7. Although the women leaves them they still don't learn from their
Mistakes and still try their luck with others.
Women:
1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive
Clothes.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something
To wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress
Beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just
"An old rag".
6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still
Expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't
Believe you
A life-death question
Imagine you are in Africa . You have been tied hanging on a tree with
a rope anchored on the ground, a candle is slowly burning the rope,
and the lion is waiting for you to drop and be his lunch.
Your survival hinges on the rope staying intact, there is no one
around to help you. What to do now ............
write your answer before your scroll down....
Scroll down for answer...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Sing a Happy Birthday song
a rope anchored on the ground, a candle is slowly burning the rope,
and the lion is waiting for you to drop and be his lunch.
Your survival hinges on the rope staying intact, there is no one
around to help you. What to do now ............
write your answer before your scroll down....
Scroll down for answer...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Sing a Happy Birthday song
3 chicks
A hen and her 3 little chickens were trying to cross a busy highway.
After great efforts they all managed to cross it. One of the little ones yells out happily-
"Wow....after so much efforts, all 5 of us managed to cross"....
Q). Why does the little one say "all 5 of us" ????
Think a little bit ....... Its easy !
SCROLL DOWN FOR THE ANS........
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
..
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ANS:
ARRE BACHCHE HAIN ...
KUCH BHI BOL DETE HAIN ...
unko ginti kaha aati hai
After great efforts they all managed to cross it. One of the little ones yells out happily-
"Wow....after so much efforts, all 5 of us managed to cross"....
Q). Why does the little one say "all 5 of us" ????
Think a little bit ....... Its easy !
SCROLL DOWN FOR THE ANS........
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
..
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ANS:
ARRE BACHCHE HAIN ...
KUCH BHI BOL DETE HAIN ...
unko ginti kaha aati hai
Spelling mistakes
Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.
Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.
Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.
Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
Complex women
Women Are Such Complex Creatures:
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman,
If you don't you are not a man.
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying,
If you don't, you are good for nothing.
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp,
If you don't you are not understanding.
If you visit her often, you are boring,
If you don't she accuses you of double crossing.
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy,
If you don't, she says you are a dull guy.
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait,
If she is late, she says it is a girls way.
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold,
If you kiss her often, she yells you are taking advantage.
If you talk, she wants you to listen,
If you listen, she wants you to talk.
IN SHORT...
So simple, yet so complex,
So weak, yet so powerful,
So confusing, yet so desirable,
So daming, yet so wonderful... WOMEN !
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman,
If you don't you are not a man.
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying,
If you don't, you are good for nothing.
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp,
If you don't you are not understanding.
If you visit her often, you are boring,
If you don't she accuses you of double crossing.
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy,
If you don't, she says you are a dull guy.
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait,
If she is late, she says it is a girls way.
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold,
If you kiss her often, she yells you are taking advantage.
If you talk, she wants you to listen,
If you listen, she wants you to talk.
IN SHORT...
So simple, yet so complex,
So weak, yet so powerful,
So confusing, yet so desirable,
So daming, yet so wonderful... WOMEN !
Complicated Breakfast Order
A guest in a posh hotel comes down to breakfast and called over the head waiter and read from the menu, "I'd like two boiled eggs, one of them so under cooked that it's runny, and one so over cooked that it's tough and hard to eat.
"I'd also like grilled bacon that has been left out so it gets a bit on the cold side; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, lukewarm."
That's a complicated order sir", said the bewildered waiter. "It might be quite difficult."
The guest replied sarcastically, "It can't be that difficult because that's exactly what you brought me yesterday!"
"I'd also like grilled bacon that has been left out so it gets a bit on the cold side; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, lukewarm."
That's a complicated order sir", said the bewildered waiter. "It might be quite difficult."
The guest replied sarcastically, "It can't be that difficult because that's exactly what you brought me yesterday!"
Cheating wife
A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, She sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?"
"Relax," says the doctor, "Take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"
"Relax," says the doctor, "Take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"
Kanjibhai's Gift To Rupaben.
Rupaben's husband Kanjibhai asked her what she wanted for her birthday.
She thought for a moment and remembering the Diamonds in the Deck of cards said, "This year I just want cold, hard cash for a change."
The following day Kanjibhai filled her request.
He put 200 Rupee coins into a glass jar, then filled it with water and placed it in the freezer.
On her birthday he handed his wife a solidly frozen bottle of change.
She thought for a moment and remembering the Diamonds in the Deck of cards said, "This year I just want cold, hard cash for a change."
The following day Kanjibhai filled her request.
He put 200 Rupee coins into a glass jar, then filled it with water and placed it in the freezer.
On her birthday he handed his wife a solidly frozen bottle of change.
Where is ur Wife?
Two guys are pushing their shopping trolleys around a supermarket when they collide.
The first guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going".
The second guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate".
The first guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like"?
The second guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, big breasts and is wearing short shorts and a tank top.
What does your wife look like"?
The first guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours!!"
The first guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going".
The second guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate".
The first guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like"?
The second guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, big breasts and is wearing short shorts and a tank top.
What does your wife look like"?
The first guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours!!"
Order order
A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in
the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order,
order." The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honour, I'll have a scotch and soda."
the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order,
order." The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honour, I'll have a scotch and soda."
Criminal Behind the bars
sardar Inspector and SP goes to a murder spot and all the surrounding civians request for justice.
SP: Inspector! I want all of them who are involved in this murder "behind the bar" before 8 in the evening.
sardar SI will go the Sona bar at 7Pm and find all the murderer in the bar. He will call up his officer and said. "sir, murderers are already in the bar so you can come". Officers say "great job, you wait I will come to station".
sardar SI says, no sir, you have to come to Sona bar not to station.
SP: Inspector! I want all of them who are involved in this murder "behind the bar" before 8 in the evening.
sardar SI will go the Sona bar at 7Pm and find all the murderer in the bar. He will call up his officer and said. "sir, murderers are already in the bar so you can come". Officers say "great job, you wait I will come to station".
sardar SI says, no sir, you have to come to Sona bar not to station.
Birthday gift for Wife
A man complained to his coworker that he didn't know what to get his wife for her birthday. 'She already has everything you could think of, and she can buy herself whatever she likes.'
'Here's an idea,' said the colleague. 'Make up your own gift certificate that says, 'Thirty minutes of great loving, any way you want it.' I guarantee she'll be enchanted.'
The next day, the colleague asked, 'Well? Did you take my suggestion?'
'Yes,' replied the man.
'Did she like it?'
'Oh, yes! She jumped up kissed me on the forehead, and ran out of the door yelling, 'See you in 30 minutes!''
'Here's an idea,' said the colleague. 'Make up your own gift certificate that says, 'Thirty minutes of great loving, any way you want it.' I guarantee she'll be enchanted.'
The next day, the colleague asked, 'Well? Did you take my suggestion?'
'Yes,' replied the man.
'Did she like it?'
'Oh, yes! She jumped up kissed me on the forehead, and ran out of the door yelling, 'See you in 30 minutes!''
Christmas holidays
Two prostitutes, after Christmas holidays:
- What did you ask Santa Claus to give you?
- Hundred dollars, as usual.
- What did you ask Santa Claus to give you?
- Hundred dollars, as usual.
Gareeb Chutkule (PJs) : Hammering ones (Hindi)
1) Brad Pitt and Vidya Balan get married
After marriage, lots of students gather at their home .... why ???
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
because her name becomes Vidya Pitt (vidyapeeth)
:
2) Ek nadi thi......
uske upar ek pull bana hua tha.....
pull par bahut saari ladkiyan khadi thi......
sab ki sab ek hi ladke ki deewani thi.....
Guess who was the lucky guy??????
.......
.......
........
Keep Guessing......
.......
.......
.......
Chalo yaar....the answer is
"KISNA"
Jo hai albela mad naino wala...
jiski diwani BRIDGE ki har bala.....
woh kisna hai
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3) if a CAT crosses ur way , when u are going some where , then what does it mean???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
?
?
?
it means that the Cat is also going somewhere
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4) rahul gandhi --> mom, aapaki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paaa rahi........................................
sonia gandhi --> kyun beta????????????????
rahul gandhi --> har taraf to likha hai ki sonia ko bahumat (Bahu Mat)do
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5) BRUCE LEE was a great man
But after his sister gave birth to a baby he became an ordinary man...
why?
Because he became
MAMU LEE!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6) santa and banta r discussing---------
santa----- "if i drink coffee, i ca'nt sleep!!!!"
Banta----- "with me it's the opposite.if i sleep i can't drink coffee."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
7) One day Ravan went to a disco..........................
aur wahan jaakar woh behosh ho gaya....................
kyun???????????????????
kyun??????????????
bcoz it was written on the gate than "entry fee Rs.1500 per head"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
8) who make Ganesh to Anesh...????
ThinK......
Think......
okay....
" KAILASH KHER "
tere naam se " G " loon....
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
9) Ek din ek aadmi apne naukar ko Priya Gold biscuit laane bolta hai. To
naukar biscuit laane Pakistan jaata hai.
Kyon??????
Think............
Give up??
Coz...
"Priya Gold biscuit. Haq (Inzemam Ul Haq) se maango."
After marriage, lots of students gather at their home .... why ???
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
because her name becomes Vidya Pitt (vidyapeeth)
:
2) Ek nadi thi......
uske upar ek pull bana hua tha.....
pull par bahut saari ladkiyan khadi thi......
sab ki sab ek hi ladke ki deewani thi.....
Guess who was the lucky guy??????
.......
.......
........
Keep Guessing......
.......
.......
.......
Chalo yaar....the answer is
"KISNA"
Jo hai albela mad naino wala...
jiski diwani BRIDGE ki har bala.....
woh kisna hai
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3) if a CAT crosses ur way , when u are going some where , then what does it mean???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
?
?
?
it means that the Cat is also going somewhere
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4) rahul gandhi --> mom, aapaki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paaa rahi........................................
sonia gandhi --> kyun beta????????????????
rahul gandhi --> har taraf to likha hai ki sonia ko bahumat (Bahu Mat)do
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5) BRUCE LEE was a great man
But after his sister gave birth to a baby he became an ordinary man...
why?
Because he became
MAMU LEE!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6) santa and banta r discussing---------
santa----- "if i drink coffee, i ca'nt sleep!!!!"
Banta----- "with me it's the opposite.if i sleep i can't drink coffee."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
7) One day Ravan went to a disco..........................
aur wahan jaakar woh behosh ho gaya....................
kyun???????????????????
kyun??????????????
bcoz it was written on the gate than "entry fee Rs.1500 per head"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
8) who make Ganesh to Anesh...????
ThinK......
Think......
okay....
" KAILASH KHER "
tere naam se " G " loon....
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
9) Ek din ek aadmi apne naukar ko Priya Gold biscuit laane bolta hai. To
naukar biscuit laane Pakistan jaata hai.
Kyon??????
Think............
Give up??
Coz...
"Priya Gold biscuit. Haq (Inzemam Ul Haq) se maango."
Gareeb Chutukula : Bruce Lee ki Kahani (Hindi)
Bruce Lee was pretty famous in the world before his sister gave birth to a child...
after that, nobody would even recognize him... why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Coz he became Mamu-Lee (Mamooli)
after that, nobody would even recognize him... why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Coz he became Mamu-Lee (Mamooli)
Ajeet n raabert - gareeb chutkula
Raabert : Baas, iss aadmi ne hamaare saath gaddaree kee hai..
Ajeet : Iss kuththe ki ek haath mein Titan ki ghadi aur doosre haath mein HMT ki ghadi pehnaado.
Raabert : Lekin baas, yeh to gaddaar hai.
Ajeet replies.......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ajeet : Hum jaante hain, raabert.
Isko bathaana hai ki ab yeh do ghadi ka mehmaan hai.
Ajeet : Iss kuththe ki ek haath mein Titan ki ghadi aur doosre haath mein HMT ki ghadi pehnaado.
Raabert : Lekin baas, yeh to gaddaar hai.
Ajeet replies.......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ajeet : Hum jaante hain, raabert.
Isko bathaana hai ki ab yeh do ghadi ka mehmaan hai.
0 - 8 gareeb chutkula
'Zero' ne 'Eight' se kya kaha hoga?????
think yaar...
thoda aur soch lo.....
Ans..
0 ne 8 se kahaa...."Nice Belt yaar.... kahan se kharidi??"
think yaar...
thoda aur soch lo.....
Ans..
0 ne 8 se kahaa...."Nice Belt yaar.... kahan se kharidi??"
Diamond gareeb chutkula
Once upon a time, Sada and Ada ,visited the coal mine to find some diamonds.
Sada goes right and Ada goes left .
Sada had one harpoon only but Ada had sophisticated diamond detecting tools.
Inspite of that, Sada found one diamond but Ada didnt find any ... !!!
Why ??
Kyunki
Hira hai Sada ke liye !!!!
Sada goes right and Ada goes left .
Sada had one harpoon only but Ada had sophisticated diamond detecting tools.
Inspite of that, Sada found one diamond but Ada didnt find any ... !!!
Why ??
Kyunki
Hira hai Sada ke liye !!!!
Gold mango tree
Ek samundar ke andar ek gold wale mango ka ped hota hai
aur ek policewale ko vo mango chahiye hota hai
use swimming nahi aati
waha boat nahi hai
pani me sharks hai
TO WO MANGO KAISE LEGA
.....
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
...
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
SIDHA haath dalega aur lega
kyuki kanoon ke haath bade lambe hote hai.
aur ek policewale ko vo mango chahiye hota hai
use swimming nahi aati
waha boat nahi hai
pani me sharks hai
TO WO MANGO KAISE LEGA
.....
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
...
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
SIDHA haath dalega aur lega
kyuki kanoon ke haath bade lambe hote hai.
Christmas Tree
It's Christmas time and Bill and Joe decided to go look for a Christmas Tree. They gathered their axe, a sled, and a broom to brush the trees off so they can get a good look at them. When they finally reach a fine stand of trees, Joe brushes off the first tree, and stands back with Bill to look at it.
"Well, Bill, What do you think?"
"Sorry, Joe, this tree won't do. Let's try another one."
They come upon another nice tree, Joe brushes it off, and they both look at it.
"How about this one, Bill?"
"Not quite, Joe. Let's keep looking". This goes on until nightfall. Both Bill and Joe are cold, tired, and hungry. "Well, Bill, what do we do now?"
"Joe, I think we should take home the next tree we find, whether it has lights on it or not..."
"Well, Bill, What do you think?"
"Sorry, Joe, this tree won't do. Let's try another one."
They come upon another nice tree, Joe brushes it off, and they both look at it.
"How about this one, Bill?"
"Not quite, Joe. Let's keep looking". This goes on until nightfall. Both Bill and Joe are cold, tired, and hungry. "Well, Bill, what do we do now?"
"Joe, I think we should take home the next tree we find, whether it has lights on it or not..."
God's gift to India
God was in the process of creating the universe. And he was explaining his subordinates...
"Look everything should be in balance. For example, after every 10 deers there should be a lion. Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United States I have blessed them with prosperity and money. But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension...
And here is Africa. I have given them beautiful nature. But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes...
And here is South America. I have given them lots of forests. But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so that they would have to cut off the forests... So you see fellows, everything should be in balance.
One of the angels asked... "God, what is this extremely beautiful country here?" God said....... "Ahah...that is the crown piece of all. "INDIA", my most precious creation. It has understanding and friendly people. Sparkling streams, serene mountains. A culture which speaks of the great tradition that they live. Technologically brilliant and with a heart of gold...
The angel was quite surprised "But god you said everything should be in balance."
God replied - "Look at the neighbours, I gave them
"Look everything should be in balance. For example, after every 10 deers there should be a lion. Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United States I have blessed them with prosperity and money. But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension...
And here is Africa. I have given them beautiful nature. But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes...
And here is South America. I have given them lots of forests. But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so that they would have to cut off the forests... So you see fellows, everything should be in balance.
One of the angels asked... "God, what is this extremely beautiful country here?" God said....... "Ahah...that is the crown piece of all. "INDIA", my most precious creation. It has understanding and friendly people. Sparkling streams, serene mountains. A culture which speaks of the great tradition that they live. Technologically brilliant and with a heart of gold...
The angel was quite surprised "But god you said everything should be in balance."
God replied - "Look at the neighbours, I gave them
Delicious gift!
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our Mother."
The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well any more. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took Elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks: "Milton," she wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
"Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel any more. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"
"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was delicious!"
The first said, "I built a big house for our Mother."
The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well any more. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took Elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks: "Milton," she wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
"Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel any more. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"
"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was delicious!"
Diwali gift
I AM SENDING MY DEEWALI GIFT TO YOU
LITTLE EARLIER THAN USUAL
Keep Going
Keep Going
Jus lil further
LITTLE EARLIER THAN USUAL
Keep Going
Keep Going
Jus lil further
Christmas gift
The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap.
Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, "What do you want for Christmas?"
"Something for my mother, please." said the young lady.
"Something for your mother? Well, that's very thoughtful of you," smiled Santa. "What do you want me to bring her?"
Without blinking she replied, "A son-in-law!"
Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, "What do you want for Christmas?"
"Something for my mother, please." said the young lady.
"Something for your mother? Well, that's very thoughtful of you," smiled Santa. "What do you want me to bring her?"
Without blinking she replied, "A son-in-law!"
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Interview on gf bf
Story I
E: Do u have a boyfriend?
C: I have.
E: Is he working Locally?
C: No. He is working Overseas.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u !
C: Why?
E: U will not be able to settle down here permanently. And my Company don't want to pay extra expenses on the Overseas calls just because of u.
*********
Story II
E: Any girl friends?
C: No.
E: So far chased any before?
C: Have, but not successful.
E: Ever think of getting a job first then start looking for a girlfriend?
C: Career is first priority. Currently didn't want to consider This personal issue.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u.
C: Why?
E: You are lacking of P.R skills and confidence!!
*********
Story III
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she pretty?
C: Not quite.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you.
C: Why? Will this affect your company's reputation?
E: No, it does not affect the company's reputation but because My company is dealing with arts, our company requested an artist.
*********
Story IV
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she pretty?
C: yes
E: Is she your first lover?
C: Yes.
E: Sorry, we can't employ you because you lack of fighting spirit.
*********
Story V
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she your first lover?
C: No. Have a few already.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you because you are a "grasshopper"! (Job hoper lah!)
*********
Story VI
E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is he rich?
C: No.
E: Then sorry, my company cannot employ you because our Company is dealing with money and you will seduce.
*********
Story VII
E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is he rich ?
C: Yes, very rich.He owns a company.
E: Sorry, we cannot employ you because your boyfriend don't Even want to employ you, neither do we!
C: But,...... There is no position in his company.
E: Then,..... What is your qualification?
C: Secretary!
E: Sorry, we still cannot employ you because your prettiness Will affect your managers' working spirits.
C: But,...... I am not pretty at all.
E: It is even worse because my managers will not be interested In you!!
E: Do u have a boyfriend?
C: I have.
E: Is he working Locally?
C: No. He is working Overseas.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u !
C: Why?
E: U will not be able to settle down here permanently. And my Company don't want to pay extra expenses on the Overseas calls just because of u.
*********
Story II
E: Any girl friends?
C: No.
E: So far chased any before?
C: Have, but not successful.
E: Ever think of getting a job first then start looking for a girlfriend?
C: Career is first priority. Currently didn't want to consider This personal issue.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u.
C: Why?
E: You are lacking of P.R skills and confidence!!
*********
Story III
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she pretty?
C: Not quite.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you.
C: Why? Will this affect your company's reputation?
E: No, it does not affect the company's reputation but because My company is dealing with arts, our company requested an artist.
*********
Story IV
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she pretty?
C: yes
E: Is she your first lover?
C: Yes.
E: Sorry, we can't employ you because you lack of fighting spirit.
*********
Story V
E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is she your first lover?
C: No. Have a few already.
E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you because you are a "grasshopper"! (Job hoper lah!)
*********
Story VI
E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is he rich?
C: No.
E: Then sorry, my company cannot employ you because our Company is dealing with money and you will seduce.
*********
Story VII
E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.
E: Is he rich ?
C: Yes, very rich.He owns a company.
E: Sorry, we cannot employ you because your boyfriend don't Even want to employ you, neither do we!
C: But,...... There is no position in his company.
E: Then,..... What is your qualification?
C: Secretary!
E: Sorry, we still cannot employ you because your prettiness Will affect your managers' working spirits.
C: But,...... I am not pretty at all.
E: It is even worse because my managers will not be interested In you!!
Come join the queue
A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.A funeral coffin was followed by a second one about 50 feet behind the first. Behind the second coffin was a solitary man walking with a black dog. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single file. The man couldn't stand his curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I Know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single file. Whose funeral is it?" The man replied, "Well, that first coffin is for my wife." What happened to her?"The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her." He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second coffin?" The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her also."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men. Then the first one asks in excitement "Can I borrow the dog?"
The man replied "Join the queue."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men. Then the first one asks in excitement "Can I borrow the dog?"
The man replied "Join the queue."
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Lost balloonist
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 50 feet above this field. "
"You must be an engineer", says the balloonist.
"I am", replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well", says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone."
The man below says, "You must be in management."
"I am", replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault. "
The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 50 feet above this field. "
"You must be an engineer", says the balloonist.
"I am", replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well", says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone."
The man below says, "You must be in management."
"I am", replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault. "
Expensive car
A lady walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around, then spots the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now.
As she turns back, there standing next to her, is a salesman.
"Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"
Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
He answers, "Madame, if you farted just by touching it, you will definitely CRAP your pants when you hear the price."
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now.
As she turns back, there standing next to her, is a salesman.
"Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"
Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
He answers, "Madame, if you farted just by touching it, you will definitely CRAP your pants when you hear the price."
My One and Only Love
Vicky, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a jeweller's shop in Connaught Place, Delhi.
The jeweller inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?'
Vicky thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, 'No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'.'
The jeweller smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.'
Vicky retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.'
The jeweller inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?'
Vicky thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, 'No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'.'
The jeweller smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.'
Vicky retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.'
The Fear of Mother-in-Law
A small farm boy was milking his cow when all of a sudden a bull came charging towards him. As horrified workers nearby watched, the boy calmly continued his milking.
To everyone s astonishment, the bull stopped a few inches from the boy, turned around and walked away . Weren t you afraid? one of the workers asked the boy.
Not at all, the boy replied , I knew this cow was his mother-in-law.
To everyone s astonishment, the bull stopped a few inches from the boy, turned around and walked away . Weren t you afraid? one of the workers asked the boy.
Not at all, the boy replied , I knew this cow was his mother-in-law.
Dating different women
WHITE WOMEN:
First date:
You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date:
You get to grope all over and make out a bit.
Third date:
You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.
IRISH WOMEN:
First Date:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.
JAPANESE WOMEN:
First date:
You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date:
You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date:
You don't even get to the third date and you've already realized nothing
is ever going to happen.
INDIAN WOMEN:
First date:
Meet her parents.
Second date:
Set the date of the wedding.
Third date:
Wedding night.
MEXICAN WOMEN:
First Date:
You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in
the back of her car.
Second Date:
She's pregnant.
Third Date:
She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his girlfriend, her
two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's
girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his
three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your
life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along
the Tijuana strip.
ARAB WOMEN:
First Date:
Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire Arab community finds out.
Second Date:
Guy is shot dead.
No third date!!!
LEBANESE WOMEN:
First Date:
You will have to spend all your money to impress
Second Date:
You will take a loan to keep the image
Third Date :
Your are broke, she finds someone wealthier
First date:
You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date:
You get to grope all over and make out a bit.
Third date:
You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.
IRISH WOMEN:
First Date:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.
JAPANESE WOMEN:
First date:
You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date:
You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date:
You don't even get to the third date and you've already realized nothing
is ever going to happen.
INDIAN WOMEN:
First date:
Meet her parents.
Second date:
Set the date of the wedding.
Third date:
Wedding night.
MEXICAN WOMEN:
First Date:
You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in
the back of her car.
Second Date:
She's pregnant.
Third Date:
She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his girlfriend, her
two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's
girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his
three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your
life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along
the Tijuana strip.
ARAB WOMEN:
First Date:
Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire Arab community finds out.
Second Date:
Guy is shot dead.
No third date!!!
LEBANESE WOMEN:
First Date:
You will have to spend all your money to impress
Second Date:
You will take a loan to keep the image
Third Date :
Your are broke, she finds someone wealthier
Foolish ppl
Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Good... Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Bad.... Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don't Take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my Seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You Appoint me
Interviewer : ...!!!!!!!
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Good... Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Bad.... Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don't Take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my Seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You Appoint me
Interviewer : ...!!!!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)