Pati patni jokes

Patni: swamiji ne kahaa ke swarg mein pati patni ko saath rehne nahi dete hai
Pati: isiliye usae swarg kehete hai :-)

1st Man: shaadi ke baad main lakhpati ban gaya.
2nd Man: use kyu itnaa udhaas bol rahe ho?
1st Man: usse pehle mein crorepati tha


Pati: aaj sunday hai aur aish karna. movie ke liye 3 ticket laayaa hoon.
Patni: teen kyu?
Pati: tumhe aur tumhaare maata pitaa ke liye.


Patni: agar main mar jaaungi, to aap royenge kya?
Pati: ab kya has rahaa hoo kya?


Patni: dekhoji, hamaare shantabai ki pati, usko khush rakhne ke liye, har hafte movie pe le jaate hai. aap kyu nahi karte ho aise?
Pati: arey, maine bhi shantabai ko movie ke liye bulaaya. lekin usne manaa kardi. isme meri kya galti hai?

Husband wife jokes

Wife: jab aap chashma utaarte ho, bahut handsome dikte ho.
Husband: haa dear, jab main chashma utaarta hoo, tum bhi bahut khoobsoorat dikti ho


Wife: suniye, hum is hafte poora cinema dekhenge, agle hafte poora shopping karenge.
Husband: uske baad ke hafte poora mandir jaayenge
Wife: kyu?
Husband: bheek maangne ke liye


Husband: agar operation mein mujhe kuch hua to tum us doctor se hi shaadi kar lena.
Wife: aise kyu bol rahe ho?
Husband: usse badla lene ka doosra tareeka nahi hai.

Wife: aji, koi peeche mere pair choo rahaa hai.
Husband: peeche mud ke apna chehra dikha, woh choonaa bandh kar dega


Wife: aapse milne doctorji aaye hai
Husband: mujhe bukhaar hai. unhe kal aane ke liye bolo

Husband: tum khaana bahut achchi banaati ho
Wife: tum jitna bhi maska lagaao, khaana tumhe hee banaanaa padega

Doctor patient jokes

Doctor: aapko isse pehle kabhi heart attack hua thaa kya?
Patient: haa doctor, bichle baar jab aap bill diye the

Nurse: udhaas kyu baite ho sir?
Doctor: dopahar jiska operation kiya tha, woh mar gaya.
Nurse: arey woh to post mortem tha.
Doctor: to main subah kiska post mortem kiyaa tha


Patient: Doctor, kya aapko yakeen hai ke mujhe cancer hai. kyunki ek baar kisi doctor ne

cancer ka ilaaj karte the aur patient TB se mar gaya.
Doctor: gabraao nahi... agar main ilaaj karungaa to tum sirf cancer se hi maroge.

Doctor: sharaab peena haanikaarak hai. is vichaar main mujhe aapse baath karni hai.
Patient: theek hai doctor. sham ko moonlight bar mein milenge.


Doctor: aapke pati ko zyaada rest ki zaroorat hai. yeh sleeping tablets leejiye.
Wife: unko yeh kab dena hai doctor?
Doctor: yeh unke liye nahi, aapke liye hai :-)

Doctor: dekhiye, yeh bimaari khaandaani hai. aapke daadaaji se shuru hui hai.
Patient: bach gaya!!! tab aap yeh operation mere daadaaji ko hee keejiye.

Patient: Doctor, meri beti ko aajkal kuch sunaayi nahi deti hai
Doctor: kya? tumhe 5 din se bukhaar hai aur tum abhi aa rahe ho!

Wife: doctor ji, mere pati neend mein baat karna shuru kardiye hai. kya karu?
Doctor: din mein unko baat karne kaa mouka deejiye.


Doctor: roz hotel mein khaane se hee aapko ulcer hui hai?
Patient: to aaj se mein ghar ko parcel leke jaaunga


Patient: doctor, mujhe 3 mahine se khaasi hai.
Doctor: itne din kyu chup the?
Patient: chup kaun tha doctor. main to khaas rahaa tha.


Doctor: operation ke baad ab sab teek hai. tum sab kuch sun sakte ho.
Patient: aapne kuch bola kya?


Doctor: aap dariye mat. main hoo na.
Patient: aap rahenge. lekin main rahoonga kya?

Doctor: tum abhi 2 ganto main mar jaanewaale ho. kya tumhaara koi aakhri khwaaish hai?
Patient: Haanji, ek achche doctor ko consult karna hai

Jokes on beggar

1st beggar: arey, tum kyu us cinema poster ko aise gur rahe ho?
2nd beggar: main hee is cinema ka producer hoo


Beggar: 10 rupaiya dedo saab. girlfriend ko phone karni hai.
Saab ka girlfriend: dekho, bhikaari bhi apni girlfriend ko kitna pyar karta hai.
Beggar: nahi memsaab, use pyar karne ke baad hee main bhikaari ban gayaa

A beautiful love story

There was an ant and an elephant who were in Love. Here ant is the male and the elephant female. Once they both were in lovers park exchanging sweet nothings. Suddenly the elephant gets frightened and the ant asks why, she says that her parents has visited the park. Now the ant thinks and says to his girl friend not to worry, have an idea for u.

Guess wat is the idea???

........??????????


--------------??????????????


...............................??????


-----------? Dint get? scroll down!











Ant says to Elephant, u hide behind me.

Ok, the park scene was over, however Elephant's parents comes to know abt their love and they want to speak to her boyfriend and hence goes to Ant's house to see him. Elephant's parents like the Ant. but Ant's parents does not like the girl. Tell whyyyy??








cant say??????????? scroll down




















becoz the girl has big teeeth.

ok now as the parents did not agree. Ant and Elephant elope from house. Ant is riding the bike and elephant sitting behind. And then they met with an accident. Elephant gets hurt and starts bleeding. Ant is safe. tell me whyyyyyyyyyy?











dont know?????? scroll down















becoz ant is wearing helmet.

ok. now elephant is being taken to hospital in an ambulance and ant runs behind the ambulance. tell me why????????












dont knw this also??????????? then scroll down














Ant wants to donate blood to his love (elephant).

A complex love story!

 Hero loves heroine , but heroine loves the villain.
But villain loves hero's sister,and hero's sister loves heroine's brother .
Here, heroine's brother loves villain's sister .
But villain's sister loves hero's brother.



Again!, hero's brother is also interested in heroine , and you already know that heroine loves villain.

Finally two people commit suicide.






Who're they? ……….. Producer and the Director!!

Complex women

Women Are Such Complex Creatures:

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman,
If you don't you are not a man.

If you praise her, she thinks you are lying,
If you don't, you are good for nothing.

If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp,
If you don't you are not understanding.

If you visit her often, you are boring,
If you don't she accuses you of double crossing.

If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy,
If you don't, she says you are a dull guy.

If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait,
If she is late, she says it is a girls way.

If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold,
If you kiss her often, she yells you are taking advantage.

If you talk, she wants you to listen,
If you listen, she wants you to talk.

IN SHORT...
So simple, yet so complex,
So weak, yet so powerful,
So confusing, yet so desirable,
So daming, yet so wonderful... WOMEN !