Teacher student jokes 4

• Sun or Moon
  Which is more important to us?
  
  
  Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
  
  Pupil : "The moon".
  
  Teacher : "Why?"
  
  Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
• Standing stupid
  A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!'
  
  After a few seconds, little Santa Singh stood up.
  
  The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Santa?'
  
  'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!' 
• Future Tense
  Teacher: Monica ne kal ghas khaya iska future tense batao ?
  Student: Monica kal doodh degi... 
•  2 Reasons not to go school
  Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. 'Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!'
  
  'But why, Mom? I don't want to go.'
  
  'Give me two reasons why you don't want to go.'
  
  'Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!'
  
  'Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.'
  
  'Give me two reasons why I should go to school.'
• Camera
  A class teacher of primary,one day braught a camera along with her to have some group photos of the childeren.
  
  
  One student asked "Mam why did you braught that camera?"the teacher exclaimed "to have our some group photos,so that,
  
  
  And when you people grown up these photos will make you to recall your childhood,and you will show it to your friends or relatives that see this is Martin he is now a Lawer and this is Rick he is a doctor now and this is Maria and she is a Journalist now",
  
  
  Certainly a voice came forward from the back and "this is our class teacher she is dead now."
  

Teacher student jokes 3

Teacher: Where is your homework?
Student: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school.


Substitute Teacher: Are you chewing gum?
Billy: No, I'm Billy Anderson.


Teacher: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
Tommy: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.


Harold: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Harold: Good, because I didn't do my homework.


Teacher: Bob, I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.
Bob: I hope you didn't either.


Gary: I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.
Teacher: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.


Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
Junior: Because of absence.
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
Junior: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.


Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for
another, how many dollars would you have?
Vincent: One dollar.
Teacher (sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
Vincent (sadly): You don't know my father.


Teacher: If I had 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the
other, what would I have?
Class Comedian: Big hands!

Teacher student jokes 2

• Teacher: 'Why are you late to class?'

Ramesh and Suresh: 'We helped an old lady cross the road,'
Teacher: 'But did it take you so long?'
Ramesh and Suresh: 'The point is she didn't want to cross the road.'

• HISTORY LESSON

Teacher: 'When was Rome built?'
Sanjay: 'At night, sir.'
Teacher: 'Who told you that?'
Sanjay: 'You did, sir. You once said that Rome was not built in a day.'

• Teacher to Ramu: Ramu Kal School kyo nahi aaye
  
  Ramu to Teacher: Sir Kal Gir gaya tha or lag gayi thi
  
  Teacher asked: Kanah gir gaye the or kaha lag gayi
  
  Ramu said: Khat Pe gira or Annkh Lag gayi
• टीचरः बच्चो, आयकर, बिक्रीकर, भूकिकर से मिलता-जुलता कोई और शब्द बताओ?‘
  छात्रः सर, एक नहीं, तीन शब्द सुनें- सुनील गावस्कर, सचिन तेंदुलकर, दिलीप वेंगसरकर।
•  Bubble in the bath tub                                                                                                      
  A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students.
  
  As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to Introduce themselves with name and hobby.
  
  She said, " Let's start with the boys first."
  
  Boys start giving their intro...
  
  First boy: "My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."
  
  Teacher was confused to listen but said, "Interesting.
  
  Well, Ok. In fact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So it's ok John. Yes next."
  
  Second boy: "Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."
  
  Teacher now got surprised and said, "Good. I like the spirit of supporting a friend. Ok next. "
  
  This continues...
  
  and the last boy stands up "I'm Harry and my hobby is to see bubble in the Bathtub. "
  
  Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach un-grown boys for long.
  
  Anyway, now the girls please. "
  
  First girl: "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds."
  
  Teacher: "Good. At last I got something different. Ok next."
  
  Second girl: "I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes."
  
  Teacher "Now it's like educated grown up girls. Ok next. You sweet girl;
  
  Yes you... "
  
  Most beautiful girl of the class:
  
  "Madam, my name is 'Bubble', and my hobby is to take bath three times a day."
  
  Teacher Fainted!!!
• Teacher: Ramu, why r u late to scholl today?
  Ramu: My mom and dad were fighting at home.
  Teacher: how does that made u to come late, stupid!
  Ramu: they were fighting with my school shoes Mam, Mom had one shoe and dad had other shoe of mine.

Teacher student jokes

• TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
  PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO! "!!
  TEACHER : What are you talking about?
  PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !
• Teacher: WHAT HAPPEN TO GOLD IF EXPOSED IN AIR?
  RAMESH: IT IS STOLEN,SIR
• TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
  PAPPU : Here it is!
  
  TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
  CLASS : PAPPU!
• TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?
  PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
  
  TEACHER : No, that's wrong
  PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
• TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".
  PAPPU : I is...
  
  TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."
  PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
• TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"
  
  PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
• PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
  FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
  PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
  
• TEACHER: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n sell@15.25, it's loss or profit?                                           PAPPU: Profit in rupees & loss in paise
• Teacher: "what's the further away, America or the Moon?"
  Student: "America!"
  Teacher: "America? Whatever gave you that idea?"
  Student: "Simple, We can always see the moon from the india, but not america!"
• TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots !
  PAPPU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home. 
• TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
  PAPPU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"  
• TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?
  PAPPU: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
• TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his ?
  PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog ! 
• TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? PAPPU: A teacher  
• Teacher: Where does God live?
  Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
  Teacher: Why do you say that?
  Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'bhaagwaan tum andar ho kya'  
•  Teacher: Teacher(asks student)-wats ur father names ?
  student(replys teacher) -his name is BUTTER RED
  Teacher: teacher(with a surprised face)-wat ?
  student(replys) -yes maam his name is MAKHAN LAL !!!!!
• Teacher:Who was Raja Ram Mohan Roy ?
  Student:They all four were great friends
• Teacher:"What is your name?".
  Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
  Teacher:"When I ask aquestion in english,answer it in english."
  Student:"My name is Sunlight." 
• Teacher:how were the exams?
  Student:the questions were easy but the answeres were hard.
• Teacher:Ritu spell "Blind Bird"
  RITU:B,l,n,d B,r,d
  Teacher:Where are the two i's??
  RITU:Teacher a blind bird doesn't have eyes!
  Teacher:????????? 
• Once a techer said to the children:When I will ask you a question give the answer very fast.
  Teacher:What is the capital of India?
  Child:Very fast
• Teacher:ONCE TEACHER ASKED A CHILD 'WHERE IS THE HIMALAYAS " STUDENT SAID"I DONT KNOW."
  Student:THEN TEACHER ORDERED HIM TO STAND ON THE CHAIR" THEN STUDENT TOLD THE TEACHER INNOCENTLY "I STILL CAN'T SEE IT."    
• Student: Can you tell me mam, why would a room go to a doctor?
  Teacher: You stupid! Anyway, what is the answer?
  Student: Very simple! Because it has always got window-pane!
• Sir:How can you tell a hawk has good eye sight?
  Raj:Because I have never seen a hawk wearing spectacles
• Teacher:What happened in 1869?
  Student:Gandhi ji was born.
  Teacher:What happened in 1873?
  Student:Gandhiji was four years old. 
• Teacher:Ramya and Shilpa!,why are you late for school,today?
  Shilpa:Madam,I lost a one rupee coin and was searching for it.
  Teachear:Ramya,what about you?
  Ramya:Madam,,I was not able to move beacause I was hiding that coin under my feet. 
• Teacher: Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
  Student : BROTHERLY LOVE
• A teacher to a Parent:
  Teacher:Ma'm your son has cheated in his examinations.
  Parent:You can prove that I am sure
  Teacher:Well put it this way the first answer of your child's partner was yes.
  Parent:So that proves nothing .
  Teacher:But for the second question your son's partner wrote "i dont know" and your son wrote "neither do I"
• Once a teacher with her students went to visit a zoo.
  When the teacher saw the lion she told her students that the lion belonged to the cat family.
  A watchman heard her and told her that the lion belonged to the zoo not the cat family.
• Teacher:Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
  Student:A holiday
• Teacher:Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
  Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
  Teacher:Why?
  Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!