- LOVE -When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE -When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.
LOVE -When you share everything you own.
LUST -When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE -When the bank owns everything.
LOVE -When you phone each other just to say, "Hi."
LUST -When you phone each other to pick a hotel room.
MARRIAGE -When you phone each other to bitch about work.
LOVE -When you write poems about your partner.
LUST -When all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE -When all you write is checks.
LOVE -When your only concern is for your partner's feelings.
LUST -When your only concern is to find a room with mirrors all around.
MARRIAGE -When you're only concern is what's on TV.
LOVE -When breaking up is something you try not to think about.
LUST -When staying together is something you try not to think about.
MARRIAGE -When just getting through the day is your only thought.
LOVE -When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and talk.
LUST -When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and have fun.
MARRIAGE -When a rainy day means it's time to clean the basement.
- Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.
Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.
Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.
Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.
Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.
Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac .
Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.
Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.
Tv has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.
Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".
Conclusion:
"Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!!!" - Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
-A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
-The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he'll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave.
-Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
-How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done.
-A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, "OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death."
-A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
-A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
-Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
-The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
-Cosmetics: A woman's way of keeping a man from reading between the lines.
-Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
-Boring husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Bored wife: Because I married the wrong man!
-First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
-Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand.
-Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
-Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. - To my regret I have to postpone my wedding with Vasily.
- Why?
- I marrying Peter now.
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A woman sees a lawyer about a divorce.
He asks, Any grounds?
Woman: yeah, about 2 acres.
Lawyer: Do you have a grudge ?
Woman: No, we have a carport.
Lawyer: Does your husband beat you up in the morning ?
Woman: No, I get up before him.
Agitated lawyer: Well, do you or don't you want a divorce ?
Woman: No, my husband wants it... he claims he can't communicate with me!
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WIFE = Worries invited for ever
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A asked B ' What do u think of love marriage?'
B replied ' Well, see. Love marriage is like a span of 24 hours.'
A asked ' How and why do u say that?'
B answered ' See, during the daytime u are fresh and during the night u want to take rest. Similarly, in love marriage, before marriage you want to make love and after marriage you want to love someone else!!!!!!!!!'
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Before marriage he thought ' How can I not love her.'
After marriage he thought ' Ooooooooooooooh, why did I love her?!!!!!'
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A tells B ' My parents did love marriage. But no love after marriage.'
B replies ' My parents did arranged marriage. No love before marriage, but love after marriage.'
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Man before marriage is a free dog roaming on the street and yelling bow bow.
Man after marriage is a dog with a chain round the neck sitting and whining.
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