Notice to employees

VERY IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES



Company Policy: Effective from 23rdMay 2006

Dress Code:



It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your
Salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we
Assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If
You dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that
You buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress
Just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not
Need a raise.



Sick Days:

We will no longer accept a doctors statement as proof of
Sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to
Work.


Annual Leave Days :



Each employee will receive 104 Annual Leave days a year.
They are called Saturday & Sunday.

Bereavement Leave:



This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you
Can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be
Made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where
Employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
Late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch
Hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Toilet Use:



Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is
Now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three
Minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall
Door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offence,
Your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the Chronic
Offenders category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned
Under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:



Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat
More, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for
Lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby
People get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink
A Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation's, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

Regards,

The Management