Old age

• Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement centre were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:
  
  "John, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
  
  John says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
  
  "Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"
  
  "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."
• There were these two elderly people living in a Florida old age home.
  He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for
  a number of years.
  
  Now, one evening, there was a community supper in the big activity center.
  These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal
  went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up
  his courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"
  After some 'careful consideration,' she answered, "Yes, I will."
  
  The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to
  their respective rooms. Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes'
  or
  did she say 'no'?" He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not
  
  recall.Not even a faint memory. When he tried to see her, he found that
  she had gone to visit her daughter.
  
  With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he
  explained to her that his memory was not as good as it used to be. Then
  he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a
  little more courage, he then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would
  marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"
  
  He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, I will' and I meant
  it with all my heart." Then she continued, "And I am so glad that you
  called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me." 
• A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland.
  
  As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used.
  
  She showed the group a lively hillside where many goats were grazing.
  
  "These," she explained, "are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce."
  
  She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old goats?"
  
  A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"